Under stress, a woman's brain secretes more oxytocin than a man's. This has a calming effect and moves women to seek out others - to take care of children, to talk to a friend. While women tend or befriend, as psychologist Shelley Taylor at UCLA discovered, their bodies release additional oxytocin, which calms them even more.
This tend and befriend impulse may be uniquely female. Androgens - male sex hormones - suppress the calming benefits of oxytocin. Estrogen, the female sex hormone, enhances it. This difference seems to lead women and men to very different reactions when they are facing a threat; women seek out companionship, while men go it alone. Men seem better able to calm their distress through sheer distraction; TV and a beer may suffice.
The more close friends women have, the less likely they are to develop physical impairments as they age, and the more likely they are to lead a joyful life in their later years. The impact appears so strong that friendlessness has been found to be as detrimental to a woman's health as smoking or obesity.
Daniel Goleman
