Can You Have Too Much Happiness?

I can safely say that I think few of us struggle with having too much happiness. We turn to the happiness gurus to help us increase our happiness for a reason — who wouldn’t want to be happier? Pretty much all of us do.

For many of us, the pursuit of happiness is not only something we’ve grown up on, it’s something we’ve come to expect as a right. I mean, it’s right there in the Declaration of Independence!

But like everything in life, too much of a good thing is a bad thing. This includes the pursuit of happiness. Too much happiness can be just as detrimental in your life as not having enough.

That’s the finding anyway of Gruber and her colleagues (2011), in a recent review of the happiness research. Let’s see what they had to say.

Too Much Happiness

You can simply have too much happiness, the researchers found:

For instance, whereas moderate levels of positive emotions engender more creativity, high levels of positive emotions do not. Furthermore, people with extremely high positive-to-negative emotion ratios (i.e., >5:1) exhibit more rigid behavioral repertoires.

With respect to physical health, a high degree of parent- and teacher-rated “cheerfulness” is prospectively associated with a greater mortality risk. Furthermore, when experiencing very high degrees of positive emotion, some individuals are inclined to engage in riskier behaviors, such as alcohol consumption, binge eating, and drug use.

Their conclusion? “A higher degree of happiness is not always better and may actually be associated with undesirable and unintended outcomes when it exceeds a certain threshold.”

The researchers then move on to make a false comparison of the costs of too intense positive emotion, basically equating the state of mania with “too much happiness.” I’m not sure I entirely agree with this analogy, since happiness is a much broader concept while mania describes a specific state that may or may not coincide with happiness. People experiencing mania may appear “happy,” but are sometimes genuinely unhappy. And mania includes symptoms that go beyond simply experiencing a positive mood.

Once you’ve made the comparison, though, it’s easy to run through all the problems someone in a manic state may experience, and all the research demonstrating the difficulties faced by people experiencing mania.

Is Happiness Always Appropriate?

Just as you may experience too intense or too much happiness, the researchers suggest that there may be times when feeling happy is just not right. We experience specific emotional states that may serve a purpose when tied to what’s going on around us. Being a bit fearful and attentive during a highly-charged and important business meeting ensures a person can respond in a quick and meaningful manner.

A cheerful person, the researchers suggest, “may be slower than a fearful person to detect a potential threat in the environment.” It may also be more difficult to process relevant and important information in the environment when in a positive emotional state as opposed to a negative one.

Some studies suggest that certain positive emotions lead people to rely more on highly accessible cognitions, such as beliefs, expectations, and stereotypes. For instance, participants who underwent a positive mood induction were more likely than others to judge a member of a stereotyped social group, but not other suspects, as guilty of a crime.

By contrast, some data suggest that negative emotions tend to lead to more systematic processing. For example, participants in a positive mood produced significantly less persuasive arguments, whereas those in a negative mood produced significantly more persuasive arguments, compared with those in a neutral mood condition. This finding may be, in part, because positive emotions arise in a safe environment where resources can be devoted to new ventures, whereas negative emotions arise in an environment where resources must be devoted to dealing with existing problems

The researchers also note that our emotions act as signals to others in our social environment. If you’re angry, it tells others something important — that you feel something happened that was unfair to you, your situation or someone you care about.

But if you’re happy all the time, then others won’t be able to react accordingly. For instance, if you “put on a happy face” after you found out the grandmother you were closest to just passed away, you may not receive any type of condolences or acknowledgment of the grief you’re experiencing on the inside.

Expressions of positive emotions signal to others that the person perceives the environment and other people in it as safe and favorable. Given the information they provide, emotions instigate specific reactions from others and can set the course of social interactions.

Research on emotions in negotiations, for example, has shown that emotional expressions can change negotiation outcomes. In particular, when the negotiating person is of high status, expressing anger leads to greater concessions from others, whereas expressions of positive emotions do not.

Are There Wrong Ways to Pursue Happiness?

Yes. It appears the very pursuit of happiness as an end-goal of itself may be a flawed strategy:

A particular feature of human goal pursuit might help explain this peculiar paradox. The goals people value determine not only what people want to achieve but also the standards against which they evaluate their achievements. For instance, people who highly value academic achievement will be disappointed when they fall short of their high standards. In the case of academic achievement, this feature may not matter for achieving the goal at hand because disappointment does not interfere with the pursuit of academic goals.

However, in the case of happiness, this feature of goal pursuit may lead to paradoxical effects, because the outcome of one’s evaluation (i.e., disappointment and discontent) is incompatible with achieving one’s goal (i.e., happiness). This reasoning leads to the prediction that the more people strive for happiness, the more likely it is that they will become disappointed about how they feel, paradoxically decreasing their happiness the more they want it.

Are There Wrong Types of Happiness?

Depending upon your situation, yes. The researchers identified two types of happiness that may actually hurt us more than they help — happiness that impairs social functioning and happiness that isn’t in alignment with the culture we’re in.

Hubristic pride — when we boast or gloat without adequate merit — is one such example. The researchers noted that the research they reviewed suggested that it is “associated with negative social consequences, such as aggressiveness toward others and antisocial behavior.”

Your happiness type has to fit in with your cultural values as well. Because if it doesn’t, you may find yourself the odd man (or woman) out:

First, cultures vary with regard to how much they value high-arousal versus low-arousal positive states. For example, Tsai, Knutson, and Fung (2006) demonstrated that in Chinese and Chinese–American compared with European–American culture, low-arousal positive states (e.g., contentment) are more highly valued than high-arousal positive states (e.g., excitement). [...]

A second relevant dimension along which cultures vary is social engagement. For instance, Japanese culture tends to more highly value socially engaged emotions, such as friendly feelings or guilt, whereas U.S. American culture tends to more highly value socially disengaged emotions, such as pride or anger.

* * *

We all want more happiness in our lives, but as this review suggests, there may be times where you can have too much of a good thing. Happiness in just the right amounts, at the right times, pursuing it in the right ways and in the right contexts is important to getting to the state of Happiness. Because when done right, it can serve an adaptive and healthy purpose in furthering our lives.

By JOHN M. GROHOL, PSYD
Founder & Editor-in-Chief

4 Pathways To Find Greater Happiness

What do you do to create happiness in your life? Do you spend time doing things you enjoy? Maybe you spend time with friends and family or find relaxation from leisure activities?

If any of these activities are a part of your life, you are on a pathway to happiness. Positive psychology has reveals that psychological well-beingand life-satisfaction is related to engaging in life activities that boost positive emotions and discovering and utilizing our character strengths and virtues.

There are four broad pathways that can help us enhance our positive emotions and experience more moments of happiness.

The pathway of joy and pleasure
When was the last time you were delighted and had a sense of positive well-being? One pathway that can lead to greater happiness is approaching life with a joyful attitude, and experiencing moments ofgratification and pleasure.


What activities do you enjoy that you could engage in?  Being grateful for the positive things we have and being open to experiencing joy, amusement, and inspiration can all help us find pleasure in the moment.

The pathway of love and relationships
Our relationships may be one of the most important factors in experience happiness and life-satisfaction. Having love and attachment with others is what makes us feel alive and experience emotions like joy, affection, and love.

Though relationships can cause heartache, they can also provide us a sense of meaning and purpose and can prompt us to grow and expand as a person. Having loving relationships is another pathway to happiness.

The pathway of peace and tranquility
What do you do to eliminate stress, anxiety, and worry? When we aren’t always worrying and distressed about our life circumstances we can find moments of peace, stay relaxed, and free ourselves from unnecessary fear. Having balance and a healthy mind, body, and soul help us to manage stress and feel better about ourselves.

Living life in the present moment and being calm, focused, and undisturbed by external circumstances comes from wisdom and spiritual development. What can help you start developing peace of mind today?

The pathway of hope and resilience
Think of a time where you had to push past your limits and overcome the odds? We are all more capable than we give ourselves credit for. We have built up a resilience and hardiness that will allow us to weather life’s storms.

There are going to be tough moments in life, and being able to surmount the obstacles and persevere will be a major part of living a happy life. Hope is what pushes us forward and keeps us persistent and motivated. When things get difficult and don’t go as planned how do you keep hope for the future?

We are all capable of finding more happiness by discovering a bigger purpose for our lives, using our strengths, and savoring positive experiences from relationships, hobbies, and interests. When things get tough remember that the future will be brighter and that you have the strength to persevere.

Examine how these pathways can help you to be happier and begin to incorporate them in your life.

Joe Wilner
Psychcentral.com

The Myth of "The One" & Other Relationship Fantasies

Psychologist Jason Seidel, Psy.D, has heard partners lament all-too often: “This isn’t the person I married” or “I’m worried this person isn’t perfect for me.” And you know what? They’re probably right.

But there’s more to relationships than a partner who remains the perfect fit your entire life. Seidel explains more about the myth of the perfect partner and other relationship fantasies.

1. Myth: Your partner will always be the one.


Fact: There is no “once-and-for-all best match,” said Seidel, founder and director of The Colorado Center for Clinical Excellence in Denver. People and relationships rarely remain static. So that once great fit may “become broken, stale or wrong for [you].” In fact, according to Seidel, as you continue to grow in your life, you might even change who you’d pick as your partner.


A better way of looking at your relationship is to consider whether both of you are willing “to flex, experience, communicate and adjust.” More specifically, is your partner someone you “could struggle to reclaim or build a new way of connecting as [both of you] change,” and “would [you] want to?” Or “is this just great as long as things remain as they are (which they won’t)?”

Other important considerations are what both of you want out of the relationship and whether you’re on the same page when it comes to values and other key issues to you (an example would be having kids). Also, have you seen how your partner acts in a crisis? Do you trust each other? Do you know each other underneath your masks? Do you each honor who the other is?

2. Myth: It’s bad to have doubts before making a commitment or getting married.


Fact: “A lot of people have secret doubts that eat at them before and after the wedding or commitment about whether they are settling and should have held out for something better,” according to Seidel. But that’s not the point of commitment. Statistically speaking, “there is always someone better than your mate in some or even all dimensions of what attracts you or feels like the best fit.”

Also, having doubts is healthy, he said. That’s because “The older you get, the more you’re aware of the potential difficulties in relationships” and that relationships take hard work. The key is to consider if you can overcome these obstacles as a couple, respect each other’s differences and arrive at a compromise.

Couples run into trouble when they struggle with conflict, bury it or use other ways to distract themselves. In a healthy relationship “conflict is productive and mutually collaborative in terms of finding some way through it together,” Seidel said.

3. Myth: A successful relationship means completing each other.


Fact: Movies like Jerry Maguire perpetuate this myth. (Remember when Tom Cruise professed to Renée Zellweger that she completed him?) And it makes sense why this myth is so alluring. As Seidel said, “There is this strong romantic desire to find another person who completes us, who either makes up for our deficits or feels like the missing piece.” But “People aren’t functions for us, and everyone has their own needs and agendas.”

Instead, it’s important for partners to “come into the relationship whole already,” Seidel said. This way, “each person in the partnership has gone enough down their own road of learning who they are and what they need that when they show up in a partnership, they don’t need another person to complete them.” Partners want to connect, collaborate, explore and bond together — and not because they feel alone, needy or desperate, he said.

Margarita Tartakovsky M.S.
Associate Editor, PsychCentral.com

Create A Vision And Set Your Goals

image: flickr-Angie Torres

Think about your life 10 years from now. Where will you be, what will you be doing, what have you achieved? Writing down a detailed vision for your ideal life (being as descriptive as possible) helps to identify the goals you need to achieve to realize your vision. Here is our secret sauce to success; our 6 core concepts for vision and goal setting.

The 6 Core Concepts of Vision & Goals

The lululemon vision & goals training program is based on 6 core concepts.  These are tried, tested, and true methods for clarifying your vision and then setting goals to make it a reality.  Use this program to guide your vision & goals process.

1. Possibility

Set visions & goals in possibility and that are beyond what is likely to happen.  A mindset of possibility allows you to get into creative visualisation and clearly articulate your ideal life without self created limitation.  A couple of ways of getting into possibility:

• Let your past be in the past: We tend to look at the past in order to create our future, yet a goal set from the past will likely create more of what already exists, and inherently has limitations.
• Remove perceived constraints: What limitations do you create for yourself that don’t actually exist?  ‘I don’t have enough money’.  ‘I don’t have the time’.

2. Vision

Your vision for your ideal life will drive your goals.  The purpose of setting your vision is to create a clear picture of your ideal life so your goals become powerful and meaningful to you.  The vision articulates what you are out for in life and your greatest ambitions.  It will give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning – something to get excited about.  Why are you setting goals – where will it get you?

A powerful vision:

• Is set 10 years in the future.
• Is clear and concise with enough detail to feel complete.  A paragraph or two should suffice.
• Incorporates all major domains of your life.  Usually: health, personal, career.
• Moves you emotionally and gets you excited – maybe even a little nervous.
• Uses present tense language.  Write it as if you are already there.
• Is authentic to you and grounded in your passions and unique greatness in the world.

3. Balance

It is important to balance your vision & goals in the major domains of your life.  Having balanced goals leads to a balanced life, while having goals in only one area can leave your desires for other areas unfulfilled.  The three main domains in life are most often: personal, health, career.  These can mean different things for different people.

4. Audacity

Be bold and set goals that are a challenge for you. Dare to challenge assumptions or conventions you have and tackle difficult goals.  Set your goals to be BHAGs:  Big Hairy Audacious Goals.

To decide if your goal is a BHAG, ask yourself:

• Is this goal easy to achieve?
• Is this likely to happen anyways, with little effort on my part?
• Is it a push goal that will move me closer to living my ideal life set in possibility?
• What sense of accomplishment will come with achieving this goal?

You will know if you are truly setting BHAGs in life if you’re failing at 50% of the goals.

5. Format

Formatting your goals in the correct way gives you the greatest likelihood of achieving them.  A goal written with the incorrect format can be wishy-washy and will go un-achieved.

• Trickle back: Start with the end in mind.  Set your 10 year goals first, then move backwards to 5 year, 1 year
• Quantifiable: You must be able to measure your goal.
• Specific: Precisely articulate the desired activity, object, event, or outcome in the goal.
• Present tense: Write your vision & goals in the present tense.
• Affirmative language: State what you want, not what you don’t want.
• Concise: Use as few words as possible; no justification is required.
• By-when date: State when the goal will be achieved.

See the worksheet below for examples.

6. Integrity

Once your goals are set, consider how you incorporate them into your daily life to achieve them.  How do you live with integrity to your vision & goals?  Here are some ideas:

• Create a system to honour and achieve your goals.  Do you use your day-timer?  Do you post your goals on your fridge?
• Enroll others so they know what you stand for.  Sharing your goals with others who are also committed goal setters allows them to support and assist you.
• There is choice every day in life.  Choose the things that move you closer towards achieving your vision & goals, rather than those things that are in conflict.

Allessia, Lululemon.com

Borderline Personality Disorder

The main feature of borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a pervasive pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships, self-image and emotions. People with borderline personality disorder are also usually very impulsive.

This disorder occurs in most by early adulthood. The unstable pattern of interacting with others has persisted for years and is usually closely related to the person’s self-image and early social interactions. The pattern is present in a variety of settings (e.g., not just at work or home) and often is accompanied by a similar lability (fluctuating back and forth, sometimes in a quick manner) in a person’s emotions and feelings. Relationships and the person’s emotion may often be characterized as being shallow.

A person with this disorder will also often exhibit impulsive behaviors and have a majority of the following symptoms:

• Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment
• A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation
• Identity disturbance, such as a significant and persistent unstable self-image or sense of self
• Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating)
• Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior
• Emotional instability due to significant reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)
• Chronic feelings of emptiness
• Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)
• Transient, stress-related paranoid thoughts or severe dissociative symptoms

As with all personality disorders, the person must be at least 18 years old before they can be diagnosed with it.

Borderline personality disorder is more prevalent in females (75 percent of diagnoses made are in females). It is thought that borderline personality disorder affects approximately 2 percent of the general population.

Like most personality disorders, borderline personality disorder typically will decrease in intensity with age, with many people experiencing few of the most extreme symptoms by the time they are in the 40s or 50s.

Details about Borderline Personality Disorder Symptoms

Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
The perception of impending separation or rejection, or the loss of external structure, can lead to profound changes in self-image, emotion, thinking and behavior. Someone with borderline personality disorder will be very sensitive to things happening around them in their environment. They experience intense abandonment fears and inappropriate anger, even when faced with a realistic separation or when there are unavoidable changes in plans. For instance, becoming very angry with someone for being a few minutes late or having to cancel a lunch date. People with borderline personality disorder may believe that this abandonment implies that they are “bad.” These abandonment fears are related to an intolerance of being alone and a need to have other people with them. Their frantic efforts to avoid abandonment may include impulsive actions such as self-mutilating or suicidal behaviors.

Unstable and intense relationships.
People with borderline personality disorder may idealize potential caregivers or lovers at the first or second meeting, demand to spend a lot of time together, and share the most intimate details early in a relationship. However, they may switch quickly from idealizing other people to devaluing them, feeling that the other person does not care enough, does not give enough, is not “there” enough. These individuals can empathize with and nurture other people, but only with the expectation that the other person will “be there” in return to meet their own needs on demand. These individuals are prone to sudden and dramatic shifts in their view of others, who may alternately be seen as beneficient supports or as cruelly punitive. Such shifts other reflect disillusionment with a caregiver whose nurturing qualities had been idealized or whose rejection or abandonment is expected.

Identity disturbance.
There are sudden and dramatic shifts in self-image, characterized by shifting goals, values and vocational aspirations. There may be sudden changes in opinions and plans about career, sexual identity, values and types of friends. These individuals may suddenly change from the role of a needy supplicant for help to a righteous avenger of past mistreatment. Although they usually have a self-image that is based on being bad or evil, individuals with borderline personality disorder may at times have feelings that they do not exist at all. Such experiences usually occur in situations in which the individual feels a lack of a meaningful relationship, nurturing and support. These individuals may show worse performance in unstructured work or school situations.

How is Borderline Personality Disorder Diagnosed?

Personality disorders such as borderline personality disorder are typically diagnosed by a trained mental health professional, such as a psychologist or psychiatrist. Family physicians and general practitioners are generally not trained or well-equipped to make this type of psychological diagnosis. So while you can initially consult a family physician about this problem, they should refer you to a mental health professional for diagnosis and treatment. There are no laboratory, blood or genetic tests that are used to diagnose borderline personality disorder.

Many people with borderline personality disorder don’t seek out treatment. People with personality disorders, in general, do not often seek out treatment until the disorder starts to significantly interfere or otherwise impact a person’s life. This most often happens when a person’s coping resources are stretched too thin to deal with stress or other life events.

A diagnosis for borderline personality disorder is made by a mental health professional comparing your symptoms and life history with those listed here. They will make a determination whether your symptoms meet the criteria necessary for a personality disorder diagnosis.

Causes of Borderline Personality Disorder

Researchers today don’t know what causes borderline personality disorder. There are many theories, however, about the possible causes of borderline personality disorder. Most professionals subscribe to a biopsychosocial model of causation — that is, the causes of are likely due to biological and genetic factors, social factors (such as how a person interacts in their early development with their family and friends and other children), and psychological factors (the individual’s personality and temperament, shaped by their environment and learned coping skills to deal with stress). This suggests that no single factor is responsible — rather, it is the complex and likely intertwined nature of all three factors that are important. If a person has this personality disorder, research suggests that there is a slightly increased risk for this disorder to be “passed down” to their children.

Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder

Treatment of borderline personality disorder typically involves long-term psychotherapy with a therapist that has experience in treating this kind of personality disorder. Medications may also be prescribed to help with specific troubling and debilitating symptoms. For more information about treatment, please see borderline personality disorder treatment.

By JOHN M. GROHOL, PSY.D.
Source : Psychcentral.com

Is An ADHD Diet The Answer?

Food allergies may be connected to adult ADHD symptoms. Learn how following an elimination program, such as the Feingold Diet, may help you identify your triggers and create your own ADHD diet.

If you are an adult living with ADHD, a growing body of nutrition and diet research shows that what you eat can make a difference in managing symptoms. Eating certain foods and following an elimination diet such as the Feingold Diet, which cuts out food additives among other guidelines, can help.

Keep in mind that there is no such thing as a set adult ADHD diet. “There is no one diet because there is not one cause,” says Sally Hara, MS, RD, a spokesperson for the American Dietetic Association and a nutritionist in Kirkland, Wash. “The ADHD diagnosis is made based on a description of symptoms.”

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Everyday tips for the bored and impatient

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The second point to remember is that for adult ADHD patients it’s not only what you eat, but also when you eat that matters. “I look at basic overall nutrition,” says Hara. “Adults get busy and distracted. They may skip meals. When blood sugar is not stable, we don’t multitask as well.” When people have low blood sugar, they may get grumpy and may not be able to process sensory stimulations such as a TV, phone, and people talking, says Hara. “It happens to everybody, but it’s amplified in people with ADHD.”

What to Include and Avoid in an ADHD Diet

Within the last 10 years, researchers have been making the link between diet and ADHD, says Elizabeth Strickland, MS, RD, an integrative dietitian specializing in ADHD and autism in San Antonio, Texas. Studies have found some foods worsen symptoms while others may improve them.

Among foods that have been connected to worsening symptoms of adult ADHD are:

• Sugar. “We consume over one hundred and fifty pounds of white sugar a year,” says Strickland, pointing out that a 32-ounce cola has 32 teaspoons of sugar. “The blood sugar level rises quickly in our bloodstream and dumps insulin into the body. The body dumps adrenaline in response, and the blood sugar levels go up and down. This aggravates aggression and makes you crave more sugar.” While high-fructose corn syrup is a major culprit, honey and raw sugar can also contribute to this blood sugar spike.
• Food additives. “Manmade artificial chemicals such as food coloring, flavors, and preservatives are toxins that your body has to remove,” says Strickland. “If your body isn’t able to remove them efficiently, it can lead to problems such as headaches, asthma, and aggression.”

These foods may aid brain function and help reduce the symptoms of adult ADHD:

• Omega-3 fatty acids. Research has shown that a deficiency of omega-3 fatty acids may be linked to an increased risk of ADHD. “It likely has to do with myelin sheaths [the protective membrane surrounding the nerves of the brain and spinal cord] being made up almost entirely of fatty acids,” says Hara. “Supplements can be helpful for a lot of people. I recommend 3,000 milligrams a day.”
• Caffeine. “Studies have shown a small amount of caffeine can improve concentration and attention,” says Strickland. “Try having one cup of coffee in the morning and a cup of green tea in the afternoon.”
• Protein. “Protein is extremely critical,” says Strickland. “Protein provides amino acids used to make neurotransmitters for the brain, such as dopamine and serotonin. These chemical messengers control mood and concentration.”
• Complex carbohydrates. “Our primary source for fuel is carbs,” says Hara. “We have very low glycogen stores — that’s what we use for fuel after our bodies have broken down carbs. If you don’t have enough glycogen stores, you’re setting yourself up for low blood sugar, which is counter-productive to concentrating.” Getting the right carbs is a must. “Most individuals are consuming too much soda, sugar, and white grains,” says Strickland. “We need to transition to whole grains.”
• Herbs. “Research shows that ginkgo biloba and ginseng may improve brain function and attention and may prevent dementia,” says Strickland. “Try it for one month. Do you respond? If so, continue. If not, don’t.” Some people see benefits from herbs while others do not, she explains.

Trying an ADHD Elimination Diet

“Research within the last 15 years shows that people with ADHD have a higher rate of food allergies,” says Strickland. But many adults do not associate their symptoms with food sensitivities, says Hara. “They may be depressed or agitated and write it off to normal aging or stress when it isn’t,” she explains. “I’ve had adult ADHD patients in their 20s and 30s who couldn’t sit during appointments. Then once [certain] foods were eliminated, they were able to sit still six months later.”

The idea behind trying an elimination diet is to take away potential allergens and slowly add them back in to see which foods might be triggering symptoms of adult ADHD. “The same foods will not have the same effects for everybody,” says Hara.

One elimination diet in particular is the Feingold Diet, developed by the late pediatrician and allergy specialist Ben Feingold, MD, in the 1960s and originally intended only to help allergy symptoms. It is based on eliminating foods and medications containing salicylate compounds, such as aspirin, as well as additives like food colorings. The diet had the unexpected benefit of easing certain behavior problems and, in the decades that followed, has grown in popularity as an option for children and adults with ADHD.

ADHD Nutrient Research Update

A recent review looked at numerous studies evaluating the role certain supplements might have in the treatment of ADHD. So far, only zinc showed that it may help ADHD symptoms. Results were mixed on L-carnitine, pycnogenol, and essential fatty acids and inconclusive for iron and magnesium, SAM-e, and tryptophan. St. John's wort, tyrosine, or phenylalanine in particular showed no ability to help ADHD symptoms.

As research continues, hopefully more specific nutrients will be found to help manage adult ADHD. But for now, trying an elimination diet holds the most promise.

Source : http://www.everydayhealth.com/adhd/adhd-diet.aspx?xid=nl_EverydayHealthLivingWithADHD_20110730

Self Awareness

Counselling offers the opportunity to face your true self in a safe, supportive space. The process of self awareness represents a significant crossroads in the life of the client and the stage of the therapeutic relationship. Is the client ready and willing to explore their true feelings with their therapist and themselves. As counsellors, it is our duty to develop our own self awareness so that not only can we be fully in tune with our clients "When we avoid knowing how we feel or what we think, we cannot learn to empathise with other people & take their feelings & thoughts seriously" (Dowrick, S 1991), but that we can communicate that it is desirable to live with self awareness.

Self awareness is about opening the mind and heart to experiencing our inner selves. It is about facing parts of the self which may not have been acknowledged for years. It also challenges our ability or willingness to accept all that we uncover. As a counsellor, It is my role to communicate self awareness and acceptance to each client as this reflects my belief in the power of the counselling process.

Self awareness is empowering as it enables an individual to reach inside themselves and actually listen to their feelings. It can be an intensely liberating experience or a very scary one. But I ask myself, would I choose not to know; to go about my daily business without such a relationship with my self. Of course not, without it, my experiences are minimised, my emotions are impeded, but I realise, each journey is unique and it is up to us when it begins and when it ends.


Source : http://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/counselloradvice9776.html

Yoga Flow For Beginners

It's Our Thoughts That Make Us Tired

A dear family member teases me all the time about my coffee-drinking habit…and I know that person is smiling while reading this.

Here’s what happens:

1. As soon as I wake up I crawl toward that first cup of java. I can’t function without it!
2. Then, because the first felt soooo good, I down a second cup.
3. And then I am AWAKE!!! And all revved up! And I get going on a bunch of projects and thoughts and errands, all at once…
4. which becomes confusing and stressful and mentally exhausting
5. …which makes me feel like I need another cup of coffee…
6. which perks me up, yes. But in that nervous, frenetic, squirrel-in-the-middle-of-the-road sort of way…
7. which makes me even less efficient, more scattered, and then more exhausted-feeling.

What finally, finally, finally dawned on me, is that it’s my thoughtsthat are making me tired. (I exercise and get enough sleep and eat well and am in good health).

Dan Wile confirms this. In After the Honeymoon, he points out how we constantly judge and blame our loved ones and ourselves. We become exhausted and confused with all our endless internal Thou Shalt Not’s.

We don’t realize how much this hidden blame – especially self-blame – interferes with our ability to think and talk effectively about problems.
Our thinking continually breaks down. We go along fine, thinking more or less logically, when, zap, we start accusing ourselves or our partners, and useful thinking comes to a halt.
Certain ideas…have become so ingrained in our thinking that they can be thought of as a new set of commandments.

Here’s Dr. Wile’s list of Thou Shalt Not’s. We’re constantly labeling other people with these, and worrying about them in ourselves:

Thou shalt not be:

• Dependent
• Self-centered (selfish)
• Jealous (unless you have a reason)
• Boastful
• Withdrawn (or withholding)
• Afraid of intimacy
• Depressed
• Oversensitive
• Unwilling to take risks

And thou shalt not:

• Wallow in self-pity
• Worry about things you can do nothing about
• Run away from your problems

And thou shalt not be:

• Controlling (bossy, manipulative)
• Defensive
• A nag
• A wimp

Thou shalt not:

• Be perfectionistic
• Have unrealistic expectations
• Fail to take responsibility for yourself
• Have a negative attitude

Some Thou shalt nots contradict one another.

• Thou shalt not be sexually cold
• Thou shalt not be promiscuous
• Thou shalt not be a dirty old man
• Thou shalt always be ready and eager for sex

Some are generational. Thou shalt not:

• Fail to fulfill your potential
• Be a workaholic
• Be codependent
• Suppress your anger (because it will just build up)

Which contradicts…

• Thou shalt not express anger (because it will just cause problems)
• In fact, thou shalt not be angry at all.

The effect of this sort of thinking is to make life a minefield.
An exhausting minefield!


So I’m now paying close attention to all the automatic judgments I make, all day, every day.
And it seems like every little move I make, I judge myself. I can add a whole bunch to Dr. Wile’s list:

• I’m writing a post, but I “should” be doing the dishes (Thou shalt not be a slob).
• I’m doing the dishes, but I “should” be out for a walk (Thou shalt not waste a lovely day by hanging around indoors).
• I’m out for a walk, thinking about how I “should” be at the Y (Thou shalt not pay to join things and then not attend them).
• I’m at a Pilates class at the Y, thinking about the blog post I “should” be writing (Thou shalt not fail to post regularly).

Gee, but my head is tired…it makes me want to reach for another cup of coffee…

By Leigh Pretnar Cousins,MS

The Long Goodbye

"The Long Goodbye"

I know they say if you love somebody
You should set them free (so they say)
But it sure is hard to do
Yeah, it sure is hard to do
And I know they say if they don't come back again
Then it's meant to be (so they say)
But those words ain't pulling me through
Cos I'm still in love with you
I spend each day here waiting for a miracle
But it's just you and me going through the mill
(climbin' up a hill)

[Chorus]

This is the long goodbye
Somebody tell me why
Two lovers in love can't make it
Just what kind of love keeps breaking our hearts?
No matter how hard I try
You're gonna make me cry
Come on, baby, it's over, let's face it
All that's happening here is a long goodbye

Sometimes I ask my heart did we really
Give our love a chance (just one more chance)
and I know without a doubt
That we turned it inside out
And if we walked away
would make more sense (only self defense)
But it tears me up inside
Just to think we still could try
How long must we keep riding on this carousel
Going round and round and never getting anywhere?
(on a wing and prayer)

[Chorus]

This is the long goodbye
Somebody tell me why
Two lovers in love can't make it
Just what kind of love keeps breaking our hearts?
No matter how hard I try
You're gonna make me cry
Come on, baby, it's over, Let's face it
All that's happening here is a long goodbye

[Chorus x2]

The long goodbye
The long goodbye
This is the long goodbye

Someone please tell me why

Are you ever coming back again
Are you ever coming back again
Are you ever coming back again

Short Term Meditation Changes Brain Activity

It apparently does not take years or even months of practicing meditation to fundamentally alter neural activity. Just a few weeks can make a difference — for the better.

The anecdotal evidence that led to the research occurred some two decades ago as co-author Jane Anderson was struggling with long Minnesota winters and seasonal affective disorder.

She decided to try meditation and noticed a change within a month. “My experience was a sense of calmness, of better ability to regulate my emotions,” she said.

Her experience inspired a new study which will be published in an upcoming issue of Psychological Science, which finds changes in brain activity after only five weeks of meditation training.

Previous studies touting the benefits of meditation have looked at chages in brain activity in Buddhist monks, who have spent tens of thousands of hours of meditating. But Anderson wanted to know if one could see a change in brain activity after a shorter period.

At the beginning of the study, each participant had an EEG to measure the brain’s electrical activity.

They were told: “Relax with your eyes closed, and focus on the flow of your breath at the tip of your nose; if a random thought arises, acknowledge the thought and then simply let it go by gently bringing your attention back to the flow of your breath.”

Then 11 people were invited to take part in meditation training, while the other 10 were told they would be trained later.

The 11 were offered two half-hour sessions a week, and encouraged to practice as much as they could between sessions, but there wasn’t any particular requirement for how much they should practice.

After five weeks, the researchers did an EEG on each person again. Each person had done, on average, about seven hours of training and practice. But even with that little meditation practice, their brain activity was different from the 10 people who hadn’t had training yet.

People who had done the meditation training showed greater activity in the left frontal region of the brain in response to subsequent attempts to meditate. Other research has found that this pattern of brain activity is associated with positive moods.

The shift in brain activity “was clearly evident even with a small number of subjects,” said Christopher Moyer, Ph.D., one of Anderson’s coauthors at the University of Wisconsin-Stout.

“If someone is thinking about trying meditation and they were thinking, ‘It’s too big of a commitment, it’s going to take too much rigorous training before it has an effect on my mind,’ this research suggests that’s not the case.” For those people, meditation might be worth a try, he said. “It can’t hurt and it might do you a lot of good.”

“I think this implies that meditation is likely to create a shift in outlook toward life,” Anderson said. “It has really worked for me.”

By RICK NAUERT PHD Senior News Editor
Reviewed by John M. Grohol, Psy.D.

Source: Association for Psychological Science

6 Yoga Poses For Depression & Anxiety

Yoga -- the ancient Indian word for the union of mind and body -- is more than a fitness regimen. Despite its current avatar, yoga is really about calming the mind through a combination of breathing and physical poses. The names of the various asanas or poses are in themselves indications of the purpose they are supposed to fulfill: warrior pose for confidence and strength, wind-releasing pose for stomach problems and so on. Combinations of poses can also be used for specific conditions: slow stretching poses for better sleep or a specific set of asanas for pregnancy.

(Below) describes six yoga poses recommended by Virayoga's Elena Brower that lend themselves to the alleviation of anxiety and depression -- from the warm, comforting embrace of the child pose to the relaxing stretch of the cat pose.

Child pose or balasana is perhaps the most comforting yoga pose. "It can bring groundedness and humility and quiet to the body," says Elena Brower, who owns Manhattan's Virayoga. For those suffering from anxiety, it can create peace and silence. 

A forward bend, or uttanasana, where you bend forward and reach for your toes and bring your head close to your knees, is, according to Brower, "really good for generating a contemplative, connecting state in us."

Legs up the wall or viparita karani, where you rest your legs against a wall, is a great pose for groundedness. "It's really good for insomnia, great for bringing you back to the present moment and re-routing circulation," says Brower. 

Cat pose or marjariasana, the multi-step asana that resembles the stretching of a cat, helps with relaxation. "It is good for bringing awareness to the breathing which is usually in short supply when one is anxious. it can soften and slow down the process of being anxious," says Brower.

Backbends are usually quite advanced and can be very stimulating. However, Brower recommends a back bend done over a roll. It can help you open up the heart and free up the energy that's blocked there," she says.

Headstands or shirshasanas are well known for their ability to increase circulation to the brain and reduce anxiety and insomnia. However, says Brower, it is only meant for advanced practitioners.

Source : www.Huffingtonpost.com