Waiting For Someday

Why Not Now?

All the joy and passion you can envision can be yours right now, rather than in a future point in time.

The time we are blessed with is limited and tends to be used up all too quickly. How we utilize that time is consequently one of the most important decisions we make. Yet it is far too easy to put off until tomorrow what we are dreaming of today. The hectic pace of modern existence affords us an easy out; we shelve our aspirations so we can cope more effectively with the challenges of the present, ostensibly to have more time and leisure to realize our purpose in the future. Or we tell ourselves that we will chase our dreams someday once we have accomplished other lesser goals. In truth, it is our fear that keeps us from seeking fulfillment in the here and now—because we view failure as a possibility, our reasons for delaying our inevitable success seem sound and rational. If we ask ourselves what we are really waiting for, however, we discover that there is no truly compelling reason why we should put off the pursuit of the dreams that sustain us.

When regarded as a question, "Why not now?" drains us of our power to realize our ambitions. We are so concerned with the notion that we are somehow undeserving of happiness that we cannot see that there is much we can do in the present to begin courting it. Yet when we look decisively at our existence and state, "Why not now, indeed!" we are empowered to begin changing our lives this very moment. We procrastinate for many reasons, from a perceived lack of time to a legitimate lack of self-belief, but the truth of the matter is that there is no time like the present and no time but the present. Whatever we aim to accomplish, we will achieve it more quickly and with a greater degree of efficiency when we seize the day and make the most of the resources we have at our disposal presently.

All the joy, passion, and contentment you can envision can be yours right now, rather than in some far-flung point in time. You need only remind yourself that there is nothing standing between you and fulfillment. If you decide that today is the day you will take your destiny into your hands, you will soon discover that you hold the keys of fate.


Source: Daily OM

The Emotionally Sensitive Person

An Emotionally Sensitive Person is one who experiences more intense emotions than most other people do. When someone is emotionally sensitive, they often hear statements like “Stop overreacting,” or “You’re so dramatic.”  Many are labeled as being “too sensitive” because their emotional reactions are quicker, last longer, and are stronger than other people expect.

Life is so complicated that we typically try to simplify it, often by putting people and events into black and white categories. But like much of what we tend to simplify in that way, being an emotionally sensitive person is not a you-are or you-are-not kind of descriptor. 

Despite the emphasis our culture has on logic and self-control, the emotional part of everyone’s brain is pretty powerful, particularly given the right circumstances. Jonathan Haidt, in The Happiness Hypothesis, talks about the brain being like an elephant with a rider. Picture a huge six-ton elephant, with a rider on top. This represents the two basic systems in our brains.

Haidt says the rider is the logical, rational part of the brain that is reflective, it’s the part of you that deliberates and analyzes and plans for the future.  The elephant represents the emotional system, the one that is instinctive, that feels pleasure and pain and wants gratification right now. But the rider is so small relative to the elephant, anytime the six-ton elephant and the rider disagree about which direction to go, the rider is going to lose. And that happens more than you might realize.

Anyone who has eaten a bag of  potato chips when they said they would only have twelve, or who has compulsively called an ex when they vowed they wouldn’t,  or who has said angry words they later wished they hadn’t, understands the power of emotion. And that’s just for everyday issues, not for the really big, this-matters-to-the-core kind of situations. For people who are emotionally sensitive, the elephant (the emotional part of the brain) is even more skittish and more difficult to manage.

Some individuals may have a focused sensitivity.  This means they are noticeably more emotional than most people about a certain issue, like their weight or their children, or that they may be emotionally sensitive at certain times. Some may have always been emotionally sensitive and some may have experienced events that have led to or added to their sensitivity.

For others, their sensitivity is more general and varies along a continuum.  At one end of the continuum are the individuals who are slightly more sensitive than the majority of people and at the other end of the continuum are those who are so emotionally sensitive it is  difficult for them  to function.

Because of  the pain they feel and our culture’s tendency to value logic, some emotionally sensitive people  may wish they didn’t experience emotions at all. Wouldn’t life be easier without sadness and fear?  But emotions provide important information and skills such as signaling when to get out of dangerous situations (fear), the ability to be in relationships (love) and a capacity to appreciate positive experiences (joy). The emotional part of the brain provides motivation and commitment and is just as necessary for living as logic.

Being emotionally sensitive has its challenges and for some those challenges require professional help. Some people suffer deep pain on a daily basis because of their emotional sensitivity.  At the same time, those who are emotionally sensitive often have a deeper capacity for caring about others, can be artistic and creative, and are often the people who bring about change through their passion for causes. Learning to manage your emotions so that the pain is lessened and there is room for joy can help you use the energy from your emotions effectively, make balanced decisions and be more effective in problem solving.

Karyn Hall PhD

PsychCentral.com